underwhelmed

well, i have to say. i have mixed reviews so far on this book. and ya, i'm bummed. i'm over half-way finished with it and although there are passages in it that really resonate with me....a large part of the book does not. i feel like i can find deep and meaningful quotes from it....but nothing really life changing. but really, why was i looking to a "christian" book for the meaning of woman when His word is right here at my fingertips to explore. maybe i was trying to take the easy way out. who knows. but i'm bummed by it. the introduction had me hooked. but i don't feel like the introduction was even close to an accurate preview into what the book would be about. on the contrary, i felt even more stereotyped and categorized than before! i was planning on reading the first book John wrote, "Wild At Heart" which is for men, but now i'm not so sure. maybe i'll still read it but after this read, i'm a little skeptical about what i will find in that book. for instance, all of chapter 5 basically says that the reason for all of the mistreatment of women over the centuries and over all of time was because satan has a "special hatred" for women.

quote:

"The assault on femininity-it's long history, its utter viciousness-cannot be understood apart from the spiritual forces of evil we are warned against in the Scriptures. This is not to say that men (and women, for they, too, assault women) have no accountability in their treatment of women. Not at all. It is simply to say that no explanation for the assault upon Eve and her daughters is sufficient unless it opens our eyes to the Prince of Darkness and his special hatred of femininity."

and the following are some of the reasons they use to back up this claim:

quote:

"Turn your attention again to the events that took place in the Garden of Eden. Notice-who does the Evil One go after? Who does Satan single out for his move against the human race? He could have chosen Adam...but he didn't. Satan went after Eve. He set his sights on her. Have you ever wondered why? It might have been that he, like any predator, chose what he believed to be the weaker of the two."

ok, we get it - satan chose women because we're the weaker of the two.....how many times have we heard that? or at least something very similar...but it gets worse...

quote:

"Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. He destroys it in the natural world wherever he can. Strip mines, oil spills, fires, Chernobyl. He wreaks destruction on the glory of God in the earth like a psychopath committed to destroying great works of art. But most especially, he hates Eve. Because she is captivating, uniquely glorious, and he cannot be. [...] He hates it with a jealousy we can only imagine..."

it's almost too much....i almost can't believe what I'm reading....but there's more...

quote:

The Evil One also hates Eve because she gives life. Women give birth, not men. Women nourish life. And they also bring life into the world soulfully, relationally, spiritually - in everything they touch. Satan was a murderer from the beginning (John 8:44). He brings death. His is a kingdom of death. Ritual sacrifices, genocide, the Holocaust, abortion - those are his ideas. And thus Eve is his greatest human threat, for she brings life. [...] Put those two things together - that Eve incarnates the Beauty of God and she gives life to the world. Satan's bitter heart cannot bear it. He assaults her with a special hatred. History removes any doubt about this.

whoa, hold up a bit. ok, now, it seems logical to me that satan may have a hand in the mistreatment of women but i think it's a mistake to credit him for all of it. i believe there are three reasons. 1 our sinful natures after the fall - we are all broken, 2 personal choices of mankind's free will and 3 satan. i do not however, believe that satan has a "special hatred" for women. you just can't walk around saying and believing that all the bad things that happen in the world are satan's doing! because it's then that you're forgetting that you have free will. you, make your own decisions. not anyone else.

the very first quote above is the only time this book mentions anything about individuals being held accountable for their own actions. i'm up to chapter 9 now and every idea after chapter 5 build on the idea - the belief, that satan has a "special hatred" for women. i'm not buying it and there's no Scripture to back it up.

however, despite my objections to the majority of this book, there are a few parts that i feel there is some truth in. below is a quote where John is writing.

quote:

"What is this thing in me-and in most men-that just doesn’t want to go deep into a woman’s world? You are too much. Too hard. It’s too much work. Men are simpler. Easier. And isn’t that just the message you’ve lived with all your life as a woman? “You’re too much, and not enough. You’re just not worth the effort.” (And why is it such an effort? There must be something wrong with you.)
Now, part of a man's fundamental reluctance to truly dive into the world of a woman comes from a man's deepest fear, failure. Oh, he may joke about "the differences of men and women," Mars and Venus and all that. But the truth is, he is afraid. He fears that having delved into his woman's world, he won't have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it. Most marriages (and long-term dating relationships) reach this sort of unspoken settlement. "I'm not coming any closer. This is as far as I'm willing to go. But, I won't leave, and that ought to make you happy." And so there is this sort of détente, a cordial agreement to live only so close. The effect is that most women feel alone."

now, although i'm not so sure about the part about "man's deepest fear" being failure (i'd have to ask a guy) but the part in that quote that resonates with me is the fact that i do feel like “too much, and not enough.” but why? why do i feel like this? although he goes on to say, “some of this is simply selfishness on the part of men. Lord knows men are selfish and self-centered.” ok, ya, i guess but i also think that statement is kindov an unfair and negative sterotype of men too…this is where i get stuck again with the book. he says, “But there is something else.” and that “something else” again, ends up being that “The Enemy bears a special hatred for Eve.” and that is why men supposedly get that feeling of “back off-stay away” when given the opportunity to delve into the soul of a woman.

i’m just not buying it…again. i don’t believe it’s that simple. Relationships aren’t that simple. and for pete’s sake, you’re writing a book about women, and saying that we’re complicated

quote from John:

“To do any sort of justice to a book for women would require me to go deeper, listen even more carefully, study, delve into the mystery (okay-bloody mess) of a woman’s soul.”

yet your answers are so very simple? it’s all satan’s fault? i don’t think so. by the way, why is he calling a woman’s soul a “bloody mess”? i find that insulting. my soul isn’t a “bloody mess”. well, not any more of a mess than any man’s soul is. i mean, come on, seriously! and even if it were true that every woman’s soul was a “bloody mess” why would you say that in a book you’re writing to/for women!?!? dumb guy.

all in all. i think i've learned a good lesson. never look to a "christian" book or any other book but the Bible, to answer as deep a question as what it means to be a woman. and never, ever, read another book for women, written by a man. (aside from God of course.)