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I was inspired by my sister's blog-post, The Love of a Real Man and decided to post this song from Zero 7 to express my feelings about my real man too!

You're the prince to my ballerina
You feed other people's parking meters
You encourage the eating of ice cream
You would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners, you ask how's your week
You give love to all and give love to me
You're obsessed with hiding the sticks and stones
When I feel the unknown
You feel like home, you feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
You saved me

You're the warmth in my summer breeze
You're the ivory to my ebony keys
You would share your last jelly bean
You would somersault in sand with me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
You saved me

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
See I had shrunk yet still you wore me around
And 'round and 'round

(photo by mela)

domestic violence

"Now the World Series champions are joining the Super Bowl champion Patriots in getting out the word that domestic violence is more than bad public relations. It is a widespread problem, particularly in the sports culture, and it's time to do something about it." read more here

older

Now that you're older
Taking the time to look
Back over your shoulder
On the days confusion took
Now that you're wiser
Surely you've learned to read it
You should know
No surface shines brighter
Than the light that burns beneath it

Never so sure
We always take more
Though we still don't know what it's for

Now that I've seen you
Stripped to the very core
I know that I need you
Less than I did before

Never so sure
We always take more
Though we still don't know what it's for
~Zero 7

(photo by criswatk)

perhaps

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy
Maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
Hiking up my skirt
Asking for the time

Clearly, clearly I remember
Nervous if ever confronted
And questioning myself

Perhaps, perhaps if I got better
Perhaps if I challenged myself
Perhaps if I was

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy
Maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
Pulling up my skirt
Staring blank ahead

Clearly, clearly I remember
Days of useless crying
Almost feeling dead

Perhaps, perhaps if I was smaller
Perhaps, I could control myself
Perhaps if I was
~Maria Mena

(photo by sb073)

in the image of...

We know we have created God in our image when he hates the same people we hate.
~Unknown

(photo by zirak)

lullaby

Mom, please tell me what to do,
I'm so disappointed in you

You said those words that made me cry,
And you always wondered why
Why I sing my lullaby

Mom, please hurry home to me,
I waited up so patiently
You sit down and you start to cry,
But you never ask me why
Why I sing my lullaby
Why I sing my lullaby

Was it my fault they lead you in the wrong direction?
Was it my fault they didn't show you any affection?
I show you when I start to cry
Still you always wonder why
Why I sing my lullaby

Mom, why love me if you're cold
You'll just get bitter then grow old
Ask me when I start to weep
Then I'll tell you in my sleep
Why I sing my lullaby
~Maria Mena

this is a song that makes me cry every time I hear it. growing up, it was always about my mom. her troubles, her worries, her struggles. she would always sit down and start to cry. when you're a kid, feeling like you're constantly having to "fix" your mom, telling her it's ok; it'll be ok, it'll work out, and worrying that she may fall apart at any minute can be a huge burden for a kid. i didn't mind. i didn't care what it took to connect with my mom. i've always been a very patient person. i would wait patiently afterwards for her to ask me why i cried. i am disappointed in her because i feel like she failed me in that way. she never asked me why i sang my lullaby. she never noticed for that matter. but i knew her lullaby.

i know that a lot of her emotional stresses stemmed from not being adequately loved, affirmed and supported as a child. they led her in the wrong direction and they didn't show her any affection.....i didn't have to take the brunt of that did i? was it my fault?

after about a 7 year hiatus where my parents and i did not have any form of contact with each other (due to other issues i will not go into); my mom and i have been working on our relationship. previous to the new development with my mother, the phrase "mom why love me if your cold" had meaning for me. i experienced the most painful inner aches than i have ever felt in my entire life, or ever will in the future; due to my mother's coldness. our progress relationally, albeit frustrating at times, gives me hope and i no longer feel that coldness as bad as it was. i do have frostbitten fingers and toes; and i mean that in the strictest sense.

....i don't need an apology from my mom, all i ever wanted was for her to ask me what's going on with me. i wanted her to listen to me, to see my troubles, my worries, or my struggles, through my eyes; not through the glasses that she wears reflecting her troubles, her worries or her struggles.....

"you'll just get bitter then grow old" this i do not want to do. everyday, i struggle to get past the frostbite........

(photo by d0ubLe_vi)

can and does

when I wonder "where are you?".........

A living, loving God can and does make His presence felt, can and does speak to us in the silence of our hearts, can and does warm and caress us till we no longer doubt that He is near, that He is here. ~Brennan Manning

(photo by janis)

listen to your life...

for those moments when I wonder "why me?"........

Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments and life itself is grace. ~Frederick Buechner

(photo by tlorien)

let go

it's human nature to be disfunctional...

Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing a tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like

So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a slideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't wait
You roll your eyes
We've twenty seconds to comply

So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
~Frou Frou

Click here to listen to a clip from itunes.

...it's ok to embrace your mistakes and learn from them without calling yourself a failure.